In February I saw the BBC3 drama Fantabulosa, a portrayal of Kenneth Williams based on his diaries. Michael Sheen’s performance is quite spectacular – he manages to capture the man without imitating or caricaturing him. Throughout the programme Sheen narrates directly from the diaries, and it so it gives the whole affair a very intimate, personal feel, and offers a picture of William’s rarely seen before. I bought the diaries some years ago, I think after I had seen a documentary about William’s life, which was one of the first to change the popular perception of the comic actor. At eight hundred pages I left it on the shelf gathering dust, perhaps never having enough time to do them justice. After seeing Fatabulosa my curiosity led me back to them. I wanted to know more about this man who I had always had huge affection for and laughed and giggled with in my childhood during the Carry Ons, Jackanory, and Willo’the’Wisp, the man who brought laughter to so many but who had very little for himself.
Kenneth Williams is widely known for his comic performances, his high camp, his outrageousness, and his forgivable rudeness. He had excellent comedy timing, and in the Carry Ons he was the one actor you often looked forward to seeing. But the man, like many comics seem to be, was a deeply unhappy individual. He was a gay man caught in a time when homosexuality was still illegal, and even though times moved on and homosexuality was decriminalised, he still met with great disdain and reproach in a Britain that was still largely racist and homophobic. He was extremely religious and had a fervent belief in god, and this was also at odds with his homosexuality. It is widely believed (and the diaries support this) that he remained a virgin his whole life. His relationships, if one could ever call them that, were brief misunderstandings and humiliations, and yet ironically, the one thing he always wanted was a partner that he could love and who could love him. But, because of these conflicts within him, and his inability to commit emotionally and sexually, it never happened, and that does seem the greatest tragedy of his life.

